My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize