i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
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