Umm I'm too high to move.
Buhtt sex?
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
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