is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Randomize
