im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
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