I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
