i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Randomize
