I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
