What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
Fav 3 1047 607 share tweet
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize