hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
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