I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
I have surprise drugs for everyone
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
Randomize
