Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
My bed smells like the plague
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
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