This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
