I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
