You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
