look no pants
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
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