so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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