Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize