giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
