How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
