I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
