i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
