just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
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