But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Welp...herpes.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
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