They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
You ate ashes out of my bong
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
Randomize
