he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Randomize
