32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
Randomize
