the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
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He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
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He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
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