Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Randomize
