I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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