I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Randomize
