How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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