that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Randomize
