Im at strip club and am horny
Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
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