i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
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I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
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