Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
Randomize