Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
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