hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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