i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
Randomize