he puts the penis in happiness.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
I came so hard my ears popped.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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