she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Randomize
