I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize
