I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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