hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
