Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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