Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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