I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
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