I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
