Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Randomize
