I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Randomize
