Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Randomize
