It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
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