Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
