at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
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