I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
