in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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