Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
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