honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
I love how my cats smell like pot.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Randomize
