Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
