What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
