is your mom at the bar?
4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Randomize
