What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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