Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Randomize