I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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