Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
