just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Randomize
