i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
