she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
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