I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
